The Bestman – you decide!

Matt Kramer

 

June 23rd, 2012.  It may seem like a normal Saturday to you, but to Julie, It’s called giving up.  In this website, we will give you an in depth, personal, and intimate look at Matthew George Kramer and Julie Gertrude Turkovich.  Through imagery and obvious comparison, we will also shed some light on who is the true best best man.  Please vote daily, nay, hourly to ensure that your choice and voice is heard. An update with pictures and captions of Julie is coming, so check back often. If you thought Matt looked embarrassing….!!!!

 

Matt has selected TWO AMAZINGLY AWESOME individuals for this heated competition…. Here is a review of Brad and Doug, and how each deserves the title of “Best Man”. And to have an educated vote, you need to know more about Matt and Julie. The contestants…

CLICK A PHOTO FOR A BETTER SLIDESHOW OF THE PICTURES MINUS CAPTIONS

 

Look at me, a little husky but not afraid to show it off. The glasses say, I’m intelligent, but here to party. 

 

It may be 4 in the afternoon, but pajamas are still OK. Really creepy, but you can’t argue – He-Man is the bomb.

And whoever wins has a TALL task of trying to talk Matt up for 31 seconds at the reception. This is what we have to deal with… 

Win or lose, this competition will showcase the immense uphill battle it was to get Matt to this position of minimal marriageability.

 

 

 

 

 

Exhibit A – Matt’s Senior picture – As a late bloomer, Matt had to make up for it with snappy sweaters and face shield glasses. Turtleneck would have been nice here.

Exhibit 2 – Doug and Brad look pretty cute as women – Matt looks like a Foodland hooker at 2 am. Seriously, who would you rather take home to mom?

We figured he’d never get married, he couldn’t even get friends at college to sit next to him! Enrollment at Penn State – 44,000 and Matt sat with all his friends at graduation – that’s why we’re in this best man competition, by default.

He wanted to play the flute – tromboner was the compromise – man that chair is sweet.

This is Matt with is prom date – he cried when we cut it down.

We lined up from most masculine to least masculine – Matt was behind Mindy – far behind.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Silk shirt, check, free haircut, check, Sally Jesse Raphael glasses,you better believe check.

 

So please take a minute to vote for the true best man, and help Matt not feel so bad.

Choose Doug….

 

“Vote for whoever you want, I don’t give a ….”

 

Or Brad…

 Brad needed every inch of that ketchup bottle. Doug, no bottle.

Or the crowd favorite….

“I beat Doug in this competition once before, I can do it again.”

Good luck Julie, you will be greeted by this waving at the end of every day.

 

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And then there was Julie. After this short presentation of evidence, we believe you will see why they are a match…

 

If you don't match your outfit to your bike, then you ain't *%#@. And don't worry, she's already wearing a helmet.

 If you don’t match your outfit to your bike, then you ain’t *%#@.  And don’t worry, she’s already wearing a helmet.

 

There are 3 things Matt considers hot: cheerleaders, ballerinas, and preschool graduates. Check, check, and check.

There are 2 things Matt considers hot:  cheerleaders and ballerinas.  Check…

 

 

Check!

For those who don’t know. Julie loves cheering. Above is her college cheer team photo. She was a late bloomer.

 

There are 3 things Matt considers hot: cheerleaders, ballerinas, and preschool graduates. Check, check, and check.

And Check!!!!…

Animal lovers: only 300 ladybugs were harvested to make that outfit. Feel free to protest at the wedding.

 

 

We love the hair.  These photos will be used to give her stylist a ‘reference’ for wedding day!

 

She who smelt it dealt it.

 

She who “smelt it dealt it”.

 

Bowl cuts were totally in back then.

Bowl cuts were totally in back then.

I know we keep harping on the hair, but it’s an ‘easy target’.

 

 

 

Julie's prom date. She cried when it got hit by a car.

 

Julie’s prom date. She cried when it got hit by a car.

(Just another shot at Matt!!!)

 

 

After a short review of Julie’s life, we think it is obvious why she has to settle for Matt. Sweet hair like that is tough to resist!  We thought we had it tough trying to write a speech for Matt. It might be just as hard to be Julie’s Maid of Honor. Steep hill to climb! So please continue to vote daily to impact this exciting and fun day!! See you on the dance floor!

 

 

Thanks for voting, even though Duke won by a LANDSLIDE!!!


 

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One Comment

  1. Continue to vote daily as this election has been covered more than the Presidential Election! CNN has called me four times for interviews!

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